A few weeks ago, Tali and I went outside to play. I was excited because I had a new magazine to read and I brought out some toys to keep Tali happy. I looked forward to relaxing in the sun while Tali played happily.
A few minutes after we got outside, these kids bombarded us and started to play with Tali's toys. If you know my daughter, you know she is not the agressive type. As her mother, I couldn't stand watching these kids walk all over her, taking advantage of her age and temperament. I know it bothered me way more than it did her. She let them play with the rest of her toys as long as she had her Boots, the monkey doll. She even went over and shared her snacks with them. And of course, they took advantage of that as well, coming up to her when they thought I wasn't paying attention or out of my sight and putting their hand out for her to give them some more of her snacks. The mother bear in me came out. I had to talk to these kids more sternly than I liked or felt comfortable with. I wasn't mean or anything, just let them know in a stern mild way that I wasn't going to put up with what they were doing. After that they left lol.
It's not my proudest moment and I still don't know if it was the right thing to do. There are times when you need to stick up and say something and times when it's not necessary. It seems like the times in my life when I thought I've needed to and did, not much good has come out of it. In fact, it seems like it made more of a mess of things. When is a good time to speak up or stand your ground? And how do you know when it's the right thing to do? I feel like there are blatantly obvious times when you should, but what about those other times when it's not so obvious? I don't know.
Well, the kids left and then we tried to get back to relaxing. Still a nice afternoon outside, despite the mother bear incident.
I was talking to a friend about this sort of thing. I am always in teacher mode. When I am with the kids I babysit at the park and I see an injustice done to them my teacher instincts kick in and I tell the other kids (or the kids I'm watching) that something they did was not nice and they need to be kind and apologize or whatever. I wondered if that was socially acceptable to other moms, especially since I don't have experiences with my own kids in this type of situation. She said that "if there is an injustice being done to my kid, you better believe I'll stick up for him every time." I think that is a good policy. I think as long as you talk to the children in a tone of voice and using words that you would want a stranger to correct your own children in then you are safe. And it sounds like that is what you did. Your a great mom!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kristin! That makes me feel a lot better. If Tali were acting like that and I wasn't there, I would be completely fine with a stranger handling it the way I did. That really does make me feel better lol.
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