Your Mommy Is Close By

 Our last full day together :(

We went to the mall to hang out.

We spent a lot of quarters, letting the girls ride these rides.

Tali was actually brave and let us put the quarters in (she never lets us do that).

A fun cupcake to climb.

These girls are getting so big!

Being with them, you could feel Jen was near. There was a time when Raden and I were playing a game, passing these plastic grapes back and forth. He would walk around the room and then come back to pass the grapes to me and then I would pass them back to him. We did this quite a few times and then one of the times when he was starting to walk around the room, he looked up as if someone were standing next to him and put his hand up to pass them the grapes. The grapes fell out of his hand, he smiled and picked them up, and came back to play with me.

Another time, Sage was sitting on my lap and then all the sudden pointed to the doorway to the kitchen and shouted a few times, jumping up and down, "It's mommy!!! Mommy!!" No one was in the kitchen. I just smiled and said, "Yup."

I miss her so much. It's hard to think about going through the rest of this life without her. I've spent my whole life being the big sister, trying to be a good example for her, looking out for her, protecting her... and in some ways it feels like she's now the big sister, doing/being those things for me. I love and miss her so much. 

Sage And Atalia

These two girls got a long pretty well and then they would also fight like sisters. At their age, they would misunderstand each others tones and would think that the other one would be telling the other not to do something or that they were in trouble and that was the premises for most of their fights. Atalia would get so emotional and burst into tears lol.

The maddest I've ever seen Atalia, was after one of their fights. I took her upstairs like usual, to talk about what happened. This particular time, I sat and listened while she paced back and forth, ranting/telling me what happened, most of it not really comprehendible. I gathered the best I could from what she was telling me and told her that if Sage is doing something that she doesn't like then she needs to tell her, "No, thank you." She was like, "Yeah!" Then she ran to the top of the steps and yelled, "Sage! NO, THANK YOU!" She ran back in the room that I was in and let out a, "Grah!" with her little fists clenched at her sides. She then collected herself and went down the stairs saying, "Sage, I'm all better!"

Atalia will be the first to say that Sage is her best friend :)

In this video, the girls were singing loud nonsense songs that they were making up, while jumping in a puddle. I went inside to get my camera and when I came out, Atalia was sitting in the puddle.

This video, you get my whole one-sided conversation on the phone with my dad, making plans for the movies that night, while videoing the girls. 

Kids Being Kids

 Another day with my niece and nephew.

Raden playing in the sand.

Found someone playing under the table.

This video is hilarious. Sage is making a pose while shooting hoops.

This video is a bit obnoxious lol I think the family will appreciate it though. Raden is pretty cute trying to follow along.

The girls being princesses.

Dancing to Beauty and the Beast. A bit long, but very sweet.

Hi Sage & Raden!!

A few weeks ago, we got to spend some time with Sage, Raden, and Bryson! They came and picked me and Tali up to go back to Logan with them. (James came later during the weekend)

Jen and I always said that our kids would be best friends and we would always try and push/force them to play with each other lol. In the past, Sage was always so excited to see Tali, but Tali was more reserved and wouldn't always give Sage a lot of attention. 

BUT... 

...this time was different! Yay! Tali went right up to Sage and started talking about Sage's pretty shirt and Sage got so excited and said, "She talks!" lol I think Tali hasn't talked a lot to her in the past.

The kids in the back. 

They were pretty sweet to watch and Tali and Sage would make each other laugh most of the way up to Logan. 

Don't worry! There's more to come!

Super Hero PJ's

Mimi got Atalia some super hero pj's. They were a big hit :)

Haha... that is all.

Mamma Bear

A few weeks ago, Tali and I went outside to play. I was excited because I had a new magazine to read and I brought out some toys to keep Tali happy. I looked forward to relaxing in the sun while Tali played happily. 

A few minutes after we got outside, these kids bombarded us and started to play with Tali's toys. If you know my daughter, you know she is not the agressive type. As her mother, I couldn't stand watching these kids walk all over her, taking advantage of her age and temperament. I know it bothered me way more than it did her. She let them play with the rest of her toys as long as she had her Boots, the monkey doll. She even went over and shared her snacks with them. And of course, they took advantage of that as well, coming up to her when they thought I wasn't paying attention or out of my sight and putting their hand out for her to give them some more of her snacks. The mother bear in me came out. I had to talk to these kids more sternly than I liked or felt comfortable with. I wasn't mean or anything, just let them know in a stern mild way that I wasn't going to put up with what they were doing. After that they left lol. 

It's not my proudest moment and I still don't know if it was the right thing to do. There are times when you need to stick up and say something and times when it's not necessary. It seems like the times in my life when I thought I've needed to and did, not much good has come out of it. In fact, it seems like it made more of a mess of things. When is a good time to speak up or stand your ground? And how do you know when it's the right thing to do?  I feel like there are blatantly obvious times when you should, but what about those other times when it's not so obvious?  I don't know.

Well, the kids left and then we tried to get back to relaxing. Still a nice afternoon outside, despite the mother bear incident.

Occupation

As a kid, I wanted to be a singer because it seemed so glamourous. Then I wanted to go to the WMBA and be a basketball player. I wanted to be an artist at some point too. I thought about being a teacher. Finally, I decided on wanting to be an actress. Oh, and then I decided on being a very talented hairdresser too :)

When I got a little more mature and reasonable, I knew that all I really wanted to be, is a good mother. I felt like this is the big role I'll play in this life, that this is what my Heavenly Father intended for me personally to be. There are a lot of sacrifices and things we go without for not having a second income. There have been people who have made me feel worthless for what I do and shared their feelings of disagreement in the decision of me staying home to take care of Atalia. In ways, it has been really hard, but always well worth it.

I love my little girl so much and feel so blessed to be her mother.

Family Night At Dee's

 A little while ago, for family night, we went to Dee's restaurant. It's not the classiest place, it kind of reminds me of a Village Inn, but the food was really good. I'm always up for some good comfort food.

I got the Texan breakfast platter, planning on splitting it with Atalia. It was way more food than I realized though. I felt kind of embarrassed when they brought it all out. I wanted to be like, "I'm pregnant, don't judge me!" lol I felt better when we had plenty of leftovers and wanted to show everyone on our way out, like see, I didn't eat it all! 

My favorite is spending time with these two. That's when I'm happiest and we're excited for our new addition to come and just add to the happiness.

I think I'm having a boy. I've heard that you're much hungrier when having a boy and that you carry them lower than girls. And so far, I've had both. Though, I thought Atalia would be a boy lol. Boy or girl, we are excited! I guess we'll find out in about a month!

Happy Easter 2012

Now, finally is our Easter Day!

Of course, the Easter dress! 

...and hair!

James parents came up and his little brother and sister. I made a big Easter dinner.

Took some pictures outside...

We went to the park to feed the ducks bread...

...there were a lot of seagulls there.

Afterwards, we went to my in-laws hotel to swim in the pool.

It was a pretty perfect Easter.

Got Them Up!

They are in reversed order, but now that I have finally figured this out with posting these videos, I just don't care.

These are a bit long... just wanted to warn you.

That was our whole Easter Egg hunt!

Let's Try That Again

I realized that my videos from yesterday's post didn't show up. Grrr. Let's try it again. 

Well, one out of three videos is better than nothing.

Easter Eve 2012

Last year, we decided to celebrate the Easter Bunny and spring things the day before Easter, leaving Easter the day that we focus on the our Savior, Atonement, and Resurrection. 

We made a spontaneous decision to to go to Logan the night before Easter Eve with my parents, who were driving back home from the airport. So, that meant Easter Eve would be at their house.

With my lack of motivation and energy from this pregnancy, we just decorated our eggs with stickers and didn't bother with dye this year. It was still fun though.

So we got up and had our Easter Egg hunt in my parents yard.

WARNING: Long video.

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Now, to the basket!

 Peeps.

We decided to go to Heritage Farms in Logan, where they had a bunch of fun festivity things going on.

One these goats gave my coat a tug from behind and startled me.

This goat started eating my mom's scarf. I don't know why, but seeing my mom in this predicament cracked me up. 

James wants one.

Sheep.

Baby pigs.

There was a reenactment of some cowboys robbing the bank.

These horses pulled us on a carriage ride.

Mom and Dad.

My tired face.

James and I got an amazing taco to share. IT WAS SO YUMMY.

The noodle company was handing out free samples of their macaroni & cheese. 

Yum.

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We waited in line for this short train ride for 30-40 minutes. And it was worth it :)

In the gift shop Tali tried on this headband hat.

We drove back to Salt Lake mid afternoon.

It was a fun Easter Eve.